Don't Eat That!

I recently read a report online that said kale is bad for you. Good old kale, that leafy green stuff you pick up at the farmer's market, or the grocery produce aisle. Don't go telling our guinea pig Shadow it's bad for you, he loves the stuff!

So...you shouldn't eat kale. Hmmm...well fruit is tasty, and supposed to be healthy for you, right? No, not really. It has too much sugar. A zoo recently made the decision to stop feeding their primates bananas, as they have a high sugar content. Since scientists think we are just a less hairy form of monkey, we need to stop eating fruit as well.

Let's see...no fruit, and no kale. Okay, what about other vegetables like corn or potatoes, or green beans? Oh yeah, those are all genetically modified. So our favorite vegetables are out. That is disappointing, I love spaghetti squash.

We still have meat in our corner, right? Well no, meat is full of hormones and antibiotics, so that is no good either. Plus animals are raised in inhumane conditions, so it's cruel to eat meat unless you raise your own. We're rapidly running out of things to eat here.

Dairy, there we go! Milk, yogurt, cheese, ice cream. Well...those are all carbs, which turn to sugar in your system, so those are out. Plus milk comes from farmed cows, so see above on that one.

We still have water, don't we? At least you can drink a glass of water at mealtime without upsetting anyone. Not really. Water makes you fat. You knew that right? It's true, because of the chemicals cities put in water, (chlorine, fluoride) and what is missing from it, (whatever that might be) it makes you gain weight. Or someone online said, anyway.

I guess I'll stick to just breathing air. Unless that is so polluted it isn't healthy either. So whatever you planned for your next meal, or whatever you have beside you right now, just don't eat it. It's not good for you!!

God bless,
Chela