Remembering....

I lost my Grandma today. It's been a very long, exhausting day for me, and I'm sure for all of us. I am so conflicted in my feelings. On one hand, I feel relief that she is no longer suffering and unhappy. But on the other hand, she is my Grandma, and I want her here with me. She's my pillar, and pillars are supposed to be here forever. She's always been there for me...for everyone. She's always been in her beautiful house, with the same phone number and everything.

Grandma had a pool put in her backyard. It wasn't a big pool, and only 5 feet deep, but so many of my memories with her revolve around that pool. How she always said she shouldn't have had it put in, because it was too small. But we all loved it. My nieces and nephews all learned to swim in that pool, and I spent hours upon hours in there. Grandma would be out there on the deck, or inside watching her soaps. especially "All My Children." Sometimes she'd join me in the pool in her pretty once piece suits. The big rule that you never hop over from the spa to the pool, but get out and go around. I'm sure all of us remember that one. Grandma would make everyone sandwiches, then since I couldn't eat bread, she'd bring me lunch meat and cheese, rolled up with a toothpick in it. Always delivered with a smile.

We'd go everywhere together-out to eat, farmer's markets, Table Mountain, the family cabin, Castro Valley to see Aunt Betty. Sigh. She is in Heaven as well, and I'm sure that was a beautiful reunion to see. I remember in restaurants waiting for our food, Grandma would eavesdrop on surrounding tables. She'd take a pen and paper out of her purse, (she always carried a large purse) and secretly write me notes about them. Such as; that man has a toupee, or that couple is divorced, and discussing custody of the kids. It sure passed time while we had nothing better to do.

One day Grandma picked me up early from school because I was really sick. After the dr, she took me out for ice cream. This particular place gave you a huge helping of ice cream, plus about that much more to take home. I eagerly took a bite, (I love ice cream), to find it tasted terrible! Imagine....ice cream tasting awful. At the time I didn't know why it was so bad, was it because I was so sick? Later I found out Grandma had ordered me a malt. I've never forgotten that.

More than spoiling me, Grandma loved to dance. Come heck or high water, she was going dancing. Square dance, ballroom. She loved to dance. Twice widowed, she had a very hard time finding a partner. The war had made a large impact in the number of available men, and quite a few of the remaining ones were married. Still, she continued to dance, performed for exhibitions and fundraisers, even taught at a dancing school for a time. She had beautiful dresses and bloomers (?) to wear under them to make them poof out. I can still see her smile when she was all dressed up. Dancing was her life, and she had a lot of friends through it.

I have so many wonderful memories of my Grandma. We used to talk so much, then after I moved across country, we talked by email. We'd send long emails about life, our hopes and dreams, her dancing, my Grandpa, who I never was graced to meet..everything. Jesus, thank You for the years we had Grandma with us. She was such a big part of our lives, and we all have such wonderful memories of her. I have to mention the time she was making a cake, and her kids were bugging her for tastes of the batter. She set the bowl down, gave the kids spoons, and told them to have at it. They ate the whole bowl. One of her favorite stories to tell. Welcome her with open arms, Father, and show her the dance floor with Grandpa AK. Please comfort our hearts, as we grieve and remember down here. I love You Father, and I love my Grandma. Amen.