Letter to Reno the dog

I solemnly swear that I am not taking you outside at 2:30 AM in the rain, or drizzlies after the rain, to eat dead grass from the yard. You are allowed to wake me up during the night only in case of EMERGENCY!

This means, you have to go out and immediately tend to business...you know what I mean. Another reasonable reason to wake me up is if someone is here. That would be an emergency, I'm sure. Lastly, if something is wrong in the house, like a fire, or a very sick family member.

Nowhere in the above rules does it say you may wake me up at 2:30 AM so you can go outside and eat grass. Dead grass at that! And just because you asked this morning, NO I won't FEED you at 2:30 AM! Breakfast is at 7:15 am with dinner at 6pm. Exceptions may be made if I have an opportunity to sleep in. 2:30 AM is not one of those exceptions.

Thank you
Mom